Writing a Parody Terms of Service

Welcome to Artificial Clothing, a clothing app where you can buy all sorts of clothes that you wish. I’m here to help you find your desired dressing style and many more. By signing up for this app you are agreeing to the following terms of service:

  1. Artificial Clothing guarantees that the clothes you buy will be completely worthless and that if you wear them, many will make fun of you.
  2. We have the right to take your credit card information and force you to add clothes by showing fake ads.
  3. By using our app, we ensure you that the sizes will be two times smaller than the size you choose.
  4. By accepting the terms of service, you consent to daily email bombardment with numerous offers that don’t exist, and you have no control over whether or not to empty them.
  5. Artificial Clothing isn’t responsible for any wrong clothes, sizes, colors, or delivering them to the wrong address. Delivering sucks, but so does our app.
  6. We don’t accept orders that are below $150 and we promise that all our clothes pricing starts from $60.
  7. We will keep asking you to rate our app every time you open it, and we don’t accept ratings below 3.75.

By agreeing to all of the above terms of service, you can now use our app.

I choose to do my satire/parody about clothing apps because I keep getting emails related to the apps which I don’t even remember signing up for. As shown in the video by Inside Edition, there are a lot of people who don’t read the terms of service, and they just click accept all the conditions. Some of those conditions are not safe and invade our privacy. Some of the terms I mentioned are a bit over the top, but they still occur in many apps.